tanged [flynn wants a castle]

Just another one of those--

Friends Only posts--

Banner by eileenmalfoy


If you are a dreamer,
A wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er,
A magic bean buyer …
If you are a dreamer,
come in.

~Shel Silverstein

This journal is partially friends only.
Currently: adding
|| not adding

Most unlocked posts will contain general fangirling about a variety of topics ranging from sports, music, TV and movies, etc.

gen [brunette]

this is a SAFE SPACE post :)


    This post is public. The comments will be screened. The purpose of this post is to vent and I will listen. Maybe we're very close or maybe we're not, but it doesn't matter because I will still listen all the same. You can say whatever you want: you can cry, you can complain, you can ask for advice, you can get something off your chest that has been weighing on you, you can ramble on and on randomly just for a distraction, or anything else you want to say. I will not judge, but rather celebrate in the fact that I am being trusted with a secret. I will not tell anyone what you say in this post and there's nothing that you can't tell me. I will be happy to PM or email you a response, just let me know your preference.
Please do not hesitate to leave me a message here no matter what it is in reference to! I'm here for you if you need to talk or vent or just get something off of your chest. I will also leave my contact info below and you can reach me in any of those places also. If you want me to respond to you then please feel free to leave me your info of how you want me to get back to you.

EMAIL: dreamer(dot)danilee(dot)4 @ gmail(dot)com

thanks to settlingbones for the idea!
the mummy [oops]

Accurate icon is accurate

Wow, its been a while since I've been here. But since my laptop is out of commission until I can afford some anti-virus again, I'm stuck using my phone for internet.

Life's been crazy: I now have two nieces, lost Mickey a little over a year ago, and had surgery to correct my ulcerative colitis (actually still a work in progress, the surgery is done in three stages).

I wish this site was easier to use on mobile, I'm gonna try to catch up on things here. Especially since eberyone seems to be doing a mass exodus since the new ToS changes here, I'd like to get my favorite fics and pics saved up.
gen [seaside]

(no subject)


I start mu infusion therapy tomorrow. 8 o'clock. Bright and early. *cries* I have to get up at 6:30 and leave by 7 because its a 45 minute drive over there and I haven't been able to sleep for shit in days. Plus, I have class tomorrow at 4. So I can't drive home afterwards to sleep. Well I could but that'd be a huge waste of gas. So to try and make it better I made an appt with a psycologist at the school but still... Thats such a long ass day. And I can't even sleep in tomorrow... And I won't have another morning off until Wednesday...

So mom talked to dad tonight, got an update on Mike. He's beem going downhill ever since their visit. He needs to be on morphine every two hours now :/ Mom says it sounds like its starting to get to my dad :/

In other news because I don't want to end on a sad note considering I'm such a downer all the time: Mickey's stomach is making so much noise right now, holy crap.
gen [brunette]

(no subject)

Hey look, an update!

Well, good news I guess? UC still isn't under control with the low level meds the docs started me on. So a couple months ago they suggested we look into a biologic, which is a more targeted kind of medication and works on the biology of my body instead of just controlling the symptoms. I wasn't sure at first, mom wasn't sure, its kind of an expensive deal but when the current meds still showed no sign of helping out I caved and had them send a request to the insirance company to see if I'd be approved for it. I got word on Thursday that the approval had come in. So progress? I hope? The only sucky thing is that like all medications, theres possible side effects and because its a stronger medication, there are more serious side effects. So I'm kind of freaking out about that but I really just want to get better, I'm so sick of being sick. 40ish lbs of weight lost? Constantly feeling exhausted? Body aches? Constant bathroom trips?

So this medication is an infusion type deal, a two hour process where I go in, they poke me with a needle and hook me up to an IV once a week for six to eight weeks, depending on how I react to it. And that should put it in remission, or close enough to it that all I would need is a maintaining medication afterwards. But first I have to be tested for tuberculosis. Which I do tomorrow. And I'm not looking forward to it because I guess you go in and they stick something in your arm under the skin? Not like a vaccine but its something that sits just under your skin and depending on how you react then has some sort of reaction on the surface. It sounded painful when my doc described it to me. And I'm not big on needles to start with. The nurse I get is probably gonna be rolling her eyes at me when I have it done.

Still hate my english class. I just hope I can pull off a passing grade and get it over with once and for all. Its a bit late to drop out now, which ticks me off a bit. So now I have to double my efforts to make sure I get everything done and turned in and actually show up to class (urgh) because participation is a good portion of the total grade -.- I hate classes like that. Just tell me what I need to knoe and let me turn shit in and be done with it. I'm not there to be buddy buddy with everyone, I just want to get my degree. If I wanted to make friends with everyone on campus I'd join clubs.

Mel and Bailey are doing good. Bailey just got over a bout of something that had her throwing up every couple of hours, we're pretty sure it was just an upset stomach. She hasn't quite figured out the whole eating thing yet either, Mel says she tries to get her to latch on and she will for a few seconds and then fall asleep. Kind of funny but poor Mel has gotten a bit annoyed, not that I blame her. And last night I guess Mel called my mom around 3 because Bailey wouldn't sleep and Mel was exhausted (dad works night shifts at Walmart) so mom went over to watch so Mel could sleep. Other than that, she's been mostly well behaved. My grandparents came down on Thursday to see Bailey and our pup Smoke, so that was interesting.

Parents are leaving next weekend for Texas to visit our family friend with ALS. His doctors only gave him 3 or so months. I want so badly to go with but I can't afford to miss school, my break isn't for another 3 weeks. I probably won't see him before he passes. I haven't seen him in months. Its hard, on all of us. He's my dad's best friend, amd his daughter and I are best friends. I think this is gonna hurt my dad more than my grandpa passing did, and probably more than when my grandma goes. My dad and him talked all the time. Its going to be rough.

I wish I had a better note to leave this on. Mickey seems to be doing ok, I guess? He hasn't been coughing really, except today but he was cooped up in my room and it was exceptionally warm and dry in here today so that probably didn't help. And even then it was only a couple times. He still doesn't like Smoke. Poor thing. Smoke just wants to sniff him and play and I think Mickey's intimidated by him. Its kind of funny, I was sneaking Mickey back to my room after I took him out and they spotted each other at about the same time and both took off running, Mickey for my room and Smoke after him. I laughed harder than I probably should have, but Mickey was in my room pouting and watching the door and Smoke stuck his nose in and was whining at him. I'm working on getting them to interact, but its slow going. Really slow. Glacially slow.
gen [brunette]

(no subject)

For fucks sake I can not catch a break

Was let out late from work because my manager can't do anything on her own even though our boss was also in the store today (granted he had his own things to do but seriously). I should not have been there that long, especially when I told her that I have school that I need to leave by 1:30 for. So obviously that means she keeps me until 2. Now I'm screwed for time and probably not making it to class.

gen [brunette]

(no subject)

4:10 pm

At hospital. We just left the room for her to take a nap, she's been up all night.

3-4 cm dialated. She opted to get the epidural to help with the pain from contractions. Baby has moved down a little but nothing else going on yet.

I work in the morning so I hope she comes tonight yet.
gen [brunette]

(no subject)

11:00 am

She went to the hospital at 3 this morning, docs are giving her something to make the contractions come faster and harder. Still a waiting game.